California Highway Monkey Patrols (C.Hi.M.Ps.)

“Is that a monkey on a motorcycle in the rearview mirror? He’s pulling me over! I’m being pulled over on the highway by a monkey!”

“Good morning, sir. Are you carrying any bananas in the vehicle?”

“Bananas?”

“Yes, that is correct. Bananas.”

“Are bananas suddenly illegal?”

“Just answer the question, sir. Are you or are you not in possession of an illicit supply of bananas?”

“Illicit bananas? Seriously? You pulled me over to ask about illicit bananas?”

“Bananas are full of potassium. Potassium toxicity causes irregular heartbeat, muscle weakness, and fatigue. Any one of these things may cause an accident. Accidents are my concern, sir.”

“Well, yes, I can understand that…’

“You don’t seem to have much respect for the law, sir. I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.”

“What? Get out of my car?”

“Yes, sir.”

*Door opens, man exits*

“I’m going to have to ask you to take a bananalyzer test, sir. Please blow into this banana.”

“This has gone beyond strange…”

*One bananalyzer test later.*

“Your potassium levels are off the charts, sir. Please follow me.”

“You had me blow into a banana. Don’t you think that might skew the results?”

“I’ll need you to walk the yellow line, sir.”

“Walk the yellow line? The yellow line is actually a while line strewn with banana peels! I’ll hurt myself!”

“Are you unwilling to cooperate with an officer, sir?”

“I’m seriously thinking about calling my lawyer right now.”

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This entry was posted in Monkey News. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to California Highway Monkey Patrols (C.Hi.M.Ps.)

  1. Scoob says:

    I feel that the arrestee in this scenario was very disrespectful to the officer. He was lucky he wasn’t pulled over by the L.A. Gorilla PD.

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