Archive for the 'Nobody Asks Me First' Category

Dear Snickers

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

What happened? You used to be delicious and filling. Now you taste stale and bland. Did something happen to your once fresh peanuts? They used to tumble around in my mouth like a salted massage roller, caressing my inner cheek and gums. Now it tastes like you’re using left overs from the floor of a […]

Fleece Vests

Friday, September 12th, 2008

I don’t understand fleece vests. I don’t understand the concept of only covering the core of your body when you’re cold. When I get cold, it starts from the head, the hands, and the feet. A vest only covers my torso, which isn’t what’s cold. I’d bet the torso isn’t what gets cold on others, […]

On Unions

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

This was inspired by Scoob’s comment. I can’t say I’m really for unions. In the jobs I’ve held, I was hired to do X job for Y dollars per hour and Z benefits. The benefits weren’t even my idea, they just came with the job. As I have always done X, as required, I have […]

Everyone Else Is Changing

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

I nominate Frary to be the change here in Maine. Can I say, now that I’m here, how stupid I think “change” is for this presidential race? The current president cannot be president again next term. Therefore, we’ll have a different man as president next term. Since we won’t have the same man, we will […]

Problems – Updated

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

Link problems should all be resolved. Carry on.

Government Representative

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Representative 1: one that represents another or others: as a: one that represents a constituency as a member of a legislative body,… b: one that represents another as agent, deputy, substitute, or delegate usually being invested with the authority of the principal When it comes to government these days, it seems we research candidates trying […]

Random PM

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

Why would someone who just joined a message board with thousands of members PM me with a “Hi I’m new. How’s it going?” message, followed by a quote about Buddhism, when I’m one of the least contributing members of the forum? I mean, this guy hasn’t even posted yet; he only seems to have sent […]


Monday, April 21st, 2008

Is anyone else sick of foot-long receipts when buying one item? We should start a grass-roots movement…or something.

Who Gives a Fig?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

What human being was twisted enough to merge figs and whole grain into one fruit newton? . . . . . . . . . . . Seriously, with enough fiber to effectively scrub your colon clean, these things should come with a warning label. They are like a non-toxic version of Liquid Plumr. It’s […]


Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

It’s a dreary day, if you let it be. Why allow the weather to control your mood? When it’s hot out, you can use the air conditioner. When it’s cold out, you can turn up the heat. When it’s too bright out, you can pull down the shades. When it’s dark out, you can turn […]

Gas Hike

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

I guess ARGS just isn’t exciting enough for you. Hows this for news: In case you missed it, gas prices went up as much as 20 cents today. When I drove to work, the stations nearby had it at $3.09 for regular. During my lunchtime walk it was $3.19. When I left work, it was […]

A Rose By Any Other Name

Monday, February 18th, 2008

It’s Monday morning. I’m tired. How about just a couple short, independent thoughts? 1) Sure, you can name your child anything you want. Just don’t be rude enough to be upset when you’re asked to spell it every single time you have to give it to someone. 2) I think hearses miss out on a […]


Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

I don’t understand people’s propensity for congregating in doorways. I first noticed this bizarre behavior at church. When church lets out, there seem to be two black holes in the building. The first black hole is in the doorway leading from the sanctuary to the vestibule. People of all ages are drawn to that spot…and […]

Trying to Stay Fit?

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

Are you still trying to keep up with your resolutions for the new year? Even after an entire month? Do you still want to exercise your way to a new, happy life? Good for you! However, you might want to skip this place. Somebody just doesn’t get it.

Smelly Patients

Monday, February 4th, 2008

Please bathe before coming to the doctor’s office.

It Begins Subtly

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

On the way to work yesterday morning there was a presidential campaign sign on the side of the interstate. Just one. On the side of the interstate. In January. My first thought was to be mad. Can they do that? Can people start stabbing presidential signs into the ground already? It’s January; why isn’t the […]

Right of Way

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

When you have the right of way, use it. It’s very nice of you to stop and let someone else go first. It’s very gentlemanly and all that. However, there is a reason right-of-way rules are in place. This is to keep traffic flowing as smoothly as possible. These rules, I naively assume, have come […]


Monday, January 21st, 2008

Here are two terms that speakers should refrain from using: Obviously You know I mean Uh Um Feel free to add some more.

Can We Grow Up?

Saturday, January 12th, 2008

Can we stop pretending there are no rules? Can we stop mistaking freedom for anarchy and everyone doing whatever is right in their own eyes? Thank you.

Learning Curve

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

Why do mature adults, who have lived in a location for longer than a week, put their trash bags outside on the night before trash pickup? Invariably there is trash strewn about their property the next morning from some birds or nocturnal mammal(s). Still waiting for some people to get a clue… -Later