You used to be delicious and filling. Now you taste stale and bland. Did something happen to your once fresh peanuts? They used to tumble around in my mouth like a salted massage roller, caressing my inner cheek and gums. Now it tastes like you’re using left overs from the floor of a Texas Roadhouse located in the seedy part of town.

What happened to the chewy caramel? It would stretch from mouth to bar in a sticky, sugary tightrope. Whatever is left of the caramel is now overpowered by something that tastes like Styrofoam. Disturbing.

I’ll miss you.

When I get cold, it starts from the head, the hands, and the feet. A vest only covers my torso, which isn’t what’s cold. I’d bet the torso isn’t what gets cold on others, either. That’s kind of the basis for how hypothermia works, first the ears, fingers, and toes. The body is slowly drawing its circulation inward to keep the essential organs warm. It leaves extremities and digits to fend for themselves.

For me, I’d like to have just the arms. We have just the vests; where are the arms? Are they hanging out in an obscure warehouse somewhere, playing poker with all the erasers from all the mini-golf pencils?

Stupid fleece vests.

I can’t say I’m really for unions.

In the jobs I’ve held, I was hired to do X job for Y dollars per hour and Z benefits. The benefits weren’t even my idea, they just came with the job. As I have always done X, as required, I have always been paid Y. There was never any need for some middleman digging into my Y and making promises he couldn’t back up. Sam’s Club/Wal*Mart tells you straight out that they don’t have unions, and if you seek to create one, you’ll probably end up worse off than when you started. I believed it. They started us on a higher pay scale than other jobs. They gave us Z unasked for benefits. There was a lot W*M’s lawyers could take away, if they wanted to get into a flexing match. I was never interested in getting paid less to push carts.

I get treated very, very well by the hospital I work for, in my opinion. Again, I do X, and they pay me Y, just like we agreed when I was first hired. Plus, they up Y on a yearly basis (sometimes more often), though I don’t believe that was part of our beginning agreement. Management is not out to get me and I don’t need the protection of some middleman, again dipping into my Y. If I have a problem, there are very good grievance procedures in place.

Now, in my limited experience, I’ve never heard of a union protecting an innocent employee who was unnecessarily getting harassed by evil management. I don’t believe that most management is evil. It is run by normal people who, yes, have a sinful nature, but these people, again in my experience, are not evil people trying to mess with innocent employees who do their X, as agreed, every day. The only stories I have heard are unions protecting slacking employees. People who are habitually late (my stepfather always used to call into work saying his truck wouldn’t start…the guy had never even gone out to try to start it…he was just lazy and didn’t want to get up in the morning) or people who want to do as little work as possible, or people who want over and above what they agreed to when they signed on for the job…these are the people that I hear about getting represented by the unions and having their jobs saved for them. I disagree with this. I think these are the people who need to be fired.

As I’ve stated before, my experience, including hearsay, is rather limited. I’d love to hear some stories that change my mind and actually make it seem like unions are a worthwhile part of society. Until then, I believe they are as useless as the space program.

Can I say, now that I’m here, how stupid I think “change” is for this presidential race? The current president cannot be president again next term. Therefore, we’ll have a different man as president next term. Since we won’t have the same man, we will have change regardless of who is there.

Too bad some people can’t be more creative.

See, on the other hand, our current congressman could potentially be back in his position next year. Therefore, I am suggesting something that might not otherwise happen.

1: one that represents another or others: as a: one that represents a constituency as a member of a legislative body,… b: one that represents another as agent, deputy, substitute, or delegate usually being invested with the authority of the principal

When it comes to government these days, it seems we research candidates trying to find the one that we agree with the most…or that we disagree with the least. However, it doesn’t seem to me that this is the way our government is supposed to work.

If someone is truly representing us in government, or wants to represent us in government, shouldn’t that person go around finding out what his constituents want? The representative should not say, “this is what I stand for, please vote for me.” Instead, they should say, “I would like to represent you in government; what do you want me to stand for?” If the person listens and stands for what is asked of them, the person gets reelected. If the person doesn’t, s/he’s out.

Don’t call yourself a representative unless you run things the way the majority of your constituents want.

I’m ready for candidates to come knocking at my door.

People confuse me.

We should start a grass-roots movement…or something.

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Seriously, with enough fiber to effectively scrub your colon clean, these things should come with a warning label. They are like a non-toxic version of Liquid Plumr. It’s as cleansing as a lactose intolerant fool eating a large bowl of shredded wheat in whole milk, followed by three large scoops of ice cream.

Who decided to package this bowel-rending experience in innocuous snack bags? Is it the secret colon cleansing society? You take a whole grain, which has a “greater amount of dietary fiber, as much as four times that found in refined grains” and add it to figs, which “are a natural laxative“. How does this not spell a recipe for disaster?

Do yourself a favor. Unless you want to run to the bathroom ten times in one day, lay off the whole grain Fig Newtons.

When it’s hot out, you can use the air conditioner. When it’s cold out, you can turn up the heat. When it’s too bright out, you can pull down the shades. When it’s dark out, you can turn on all the lights. If you wake up and the sky is grey, casting a grey pallor upon everything you see, and it’s misty, maybe drizzling, why let that bring you down?

Is there not something in your life that can make you happy? Do you have family? Friends? A Savior? Hope?

Without any of these, I would think your day would be gloomy regardless of the weather.