Category Archives: Ramblings

Try to follow, if you can.

Human Nature

Why do people assume the worst (or is it just me)? I needed to order contact lenses, but I hadn’t been to the eye doctor in 3 years. They wanted to see me before ordering new contacts. After the doctor … Continue reading

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Driving

I was merging onto the interstate when the oncoming car in the travel lane started honking his horn and pointing vehemently at the Yield sign in front of me. The odd thing is that I had already timed my entry … Continue reading

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Tell Me A Story

Tell me a story. I don’t care if it’s happy or sad, comedy or tragedy, history, fiction, non-fiction, horror, sci-fi, or fantasy, though not fantasy like lots of other people might consider fantasy. I mean adventurers, knights, horses, unicorn, dragons, … Continue reading

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And Then I Ate at a Vegetarian Restaurant

No, this is not some hilarious one-liner to end a crowd-pleasing joke. This is a true account of my experiences last night. The wife and I drove to Portland, two hours away, to join our friends at a birthday dinner. … Continue reading

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Hearty Breakfast Fare

This morning’s victuals are indeed quite more robust than to what I am used. A cold, hard-boiled egg begins the hearty romp through my palate, taken from it’s refuge where it previously awaited becoming salad fixings. There is no forgiveness … Continue reading

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Doggie Dentures

My sister’s dog got into my mother’s Super PoliGrip the other day. (It’s for her crown…really) Before I get into that, did you know that PoliGrip has “the unique patented Ooze-Control Tip®?” Why does that not sound inviting? I know … Continue reading

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Quick. They’re coming.

I don’t have much time. They’ll be here any moment. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. My house is now a wreck, and it’s about to get worse. The door’s so misshapen I can’t even keep it closed. There’s … Continue reading

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2008 Won’t Go Down Without a Fight

Kevin says 2008 is behind us like dead body of a freshly killed squirrel. Me…I don’t know…it seems like 2008 is still holding on to life, like the squirrel you clipped with your car but is still back there on … Continue reading

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Vicious Circle

Sunday afternoons find me feeling sleepy. If I don’t take a nap, I’m kind of spacey at night. If I do take a nap, I find it difficult to get to sleep on Sunday night. Which makes me tired on … Continue reading

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Time Travel

Stop beeping at me, microwave! Have you ever noticed how fast two minutes can go by when you’re on the internet? I believe I’ve found the secret to time travel! And my supper is done.

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Ahh, sleep…

Did you ever just want to sleep all day? No, I mean sometime when you weren’t depressed. Anyway, how come the bed’s so comfortable in the morning? What? No, I haven’t been looking at your medical records. No, I just … Continue reading

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Hermits

There are hermit crabs and hermit people. What about hermit monkeys? “Johnny, stay away from the crazy monkey that lives by himself in the cave outside of town! He’ll beat his chest and fling poo at you. He shows his … Continue reading

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Villains Have Feelings, Too

It’s difficult to remember that villains have feelings, too. I know in the books you read a lot about the bad guy becoming the bad buy because of the fact that he has feelings and someone has hurt them. I’m … Continue reading

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More Orange Slices

These puppies are pure sugar. I wonder if they are hurting my pancreas and my ability to process glucose. Wouldn’t it suck to become diabetic just because I can’t keep my hands out of the orange slice bag? Either they … Continue reading

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Modern Amenities…

disease our minds as well as our bodies. Sedentary lives lead to obesity and all the health woes included therein. The mind wastes as it spends fruitless hours engorged with entertainment, whether on the TV or the internet, at the … Continue reading

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Fork Anxiety

We don’t use near as many forks as we do spoons. I wonder if other families are like that. What if we’re different? What if we’re strange? What if we’re not like everyone else?

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It’s Official*

I am no longer funny. I know. I know. I’m sorry. Gasp in disbelief. Scream in horror. Tear out your hair, rend your clothes, gnash your teeth. Make an appointment with your shrink. I just don’t have it any more. … Continue reading

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Learning Experience

If your car’s AC isn’t working properly, you have two choices on how to drive down the interstate on a hot day. We’ve now tried them both. Option 1: Ride with the windows up and the vents blasting. Riding with … Continue reading

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Mouth Sores

Teeth vs Lips Continue reading

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Good Leaders

You know how there can be too many chiefs and not enough Indians? Too many people are trying to be the one(s) in charge, but nobody wants to do the work. I’m under the impression that good leaders also make … Continue reading

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