Category Archives: Editorials

Monkey News: Editorial Section

So Says the CDC

This is probably the last I’ll say on the matter. Again, I don’t necessarily seek to sway anyone one way or another, I just want us all to work with correct information as opposed to all the assumptions that I’ve … Continue reading

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What Kind of Dragon Are You?

I am a Monkey Dragon! In the war between good and evil, Monkey Dragons take the side closest to the bananas…. When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner monkeydragon limps drunkenly … Continue reading

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Does Santa Exist?

(This was read in church today, so I came home and searched for it online. I found it at Santa Clause.) 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms, which have yet … Continue reading

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Protect Your Children!

It has come to our attention that there are certain questionable practices going on in the shoe department. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the clothing industry has long been taking advantage of the poor to line … Continue reading

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Top 10: Silly Styles

Monkey News has long been known for its Top 10 Lists. Unfortunately, many were lost when I got rid of my old Hewlet Packard Word Processor. There was some funny stuff saved on those disks… In hopes of bringing back … Continue reading

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Gay Marriage: One Monkey’s Perspective

In the beginning, God ordained marriage. It was a sacred union from which a man left his parents and became one flesh with his wife. This “leaving his father and mother” thing may have been easier for Adam, having no … Continue reading

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Rebelling Monkeys?

A professor based in Oklahoma contacted us about a phrase he wasn’t certain was local: “I’ll be there if the good Lord’s willing and the Monkeys don’t rise.” He was curious about whether the Monkeys mentioned refer to (as he … Continue reading

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