The Monkey Exhibit » Other Exhibits

GravyBoy Island

Roger — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 12:21:32 +0000

Though you access it via GravyBoat, GravyBoy Island is not a food-based theme park. The latest and greatest amusement park in America is actually based off a comic book. Much like the Superman and Hulk roller coasters, GravyBoy Island’s premier ride is based off the comic’s main character, Philbert Pharmac. Excited park-goers enter the roller coaster’s cars on the Philbert Tarmac. The cars are decorated to look like globs of gravy, two riders per glob. As Philbert exerts his control on the gravy, the ride takes off up the incline to begin its loopy up-and-down ride around a great portion of the park.

In the Cowpants Carousel, children ride in seats like the legs of a standing cow. These legs move up and down to simulate walking. While the Cowpants Carousel is spinning below, the Cowtop Swings spin above in a counter-direction.

When hunger strikes, Buckaroo Bob’s Round Up serves the best poutine around. Virtually everything on the menu can be ordered with gravy on top!

The SpitballTag Arena is a maze with sinks and paper towels every 500 feet. Just wet, wad, and throw at your friends for hours of predator/prey enjoyment!

In the center of the island is a large pen housing a single goat. We’ve no idea what the purpose for the goat is, but if you observe long enough, you will catch a glimpse of him here and there.

Scrubs is a combination barber shop and clothing outlet. They specialize in mullets and the newest line of Crocs.

The GravyTrain affords a scenic ride around the entire island, including the currently undeveloped land that will one day the Goodness League attractions. Already in the blueprint phase is The Buck bumper cars.

The comment board is open for suggestions on new rides.

‘hog Pals

Roger — Mon, 01 May 2006 20:47:29 +0000

For the last three mornings when I’ve gone to work, the groundhog has been at the entrance to his den. He’s just there waking up, stretching, yawing, and waving “hi” as I go by. He’s a pretty friendly guy. Don’t let anyone else tell you any differently.

All his friends call him Bo.

Someday I think I’m just going to stop in and visit the little guy. I could squeeze into the hole and slither slowly to his den. They’re probably not used to company, but it would be hospitable of him to dig the place out until I can sit comfortably.

He could serve tea and maybe assorted insects or something. We would chat about construction going on in the area and the seeming endless supply of excess dirt that public works seems to have. I’d pat the little guy on the shoulder and invite him to my place sometime.

On my day off, I could wake up early and join him at his tunnel entrance to sit and watch the morning traffic go by. We laugh at the people driving motorcycles in the rain, or share a coughing fit as a big rig drove by spewing out noxious, black fumes. After rush hour, we would head to Dunkin Donuts for some hot chocolate. I get to drive, though.

All Baboon Aside

Roger — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 12:35:16 +0000

Here’s another monkey-theme post borrowed from Peter (author of the JLP) while I await the return of my creativity:

Think about it, being attacked by 30 baboons. THIRTY!

Would you punch them, or what? How do you properly fight off a baboon?

The entire internet awaits your answer.

Like a Monkey Flinging Its Feces

Roger — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 13:48:24 +0000

I’m flinging you to another site for today’s monkey related humor. Apparently my creative bowels are currently evacuated.

Feces fling to the JLP!

Monkey Pizza

Roger — Mon, 04 Oct 2004 13:24:25 +0000

Get Fuzzy is definitely the best new comic strip out there. Bucky, however, has seen fit to make himself the enemy of monkeys everywhere, and therefore the enemy of this site’s mascot, Qwert Yuppy himself.

May the best mammal win.