The Monkey Exhibit

This is the story/scenario that came to me last Sunday. It should make for an interesting fictional piece, I think. Please let me know what you think. Warning: the Prologue has gratuitous violence.
It was a sunny day and a party of four was riding through the forest, toward the village of [...]

Whoever put the new roll on today did it right.

My last head wound was the worst of the bunch, but, thankfully, it had nothing to do with stairs. I guess even the thickest people eventually learn…
Our garage door opener broke sometime last year (or so. I don’t keep up very well). I always thought that the garage door opener was just [...]

I don’t understand how people are able to deftly access the toilet paper when it comes under the roll instead of over the roll. I know that is a big distinguishing factor between people: “Do you put the toilet paper on so it comes from the top or the bottom?” I never [...]

This weekend a couple of cool things happened:
1) I want to welcome David, co-creator of Monkey News and inventor of Qwert Yuppy, to the site. I saw him on Saturday for the first time in a long time (I’ve been doing qwertyuppy.com for at least 6 months and I haven’t seen or been able to [...]

How about a break from my injuries? I’m having a hard time thinking today, so please bear with the mumbo jumbo below the poem.
My intro to this poem is: “Why are some people too shy to pursue happiness?”
Shivering
I shiver in the corner
Without the strength to stand
I yearn to reach out for you
Yet dare [...]

Go back with me to the same stairway that was in my last post. At the top of the stairs, the hall ran off to the left. At the end of the hall was the bedroom I was sleeping in before I braved the Doberman. However, just at the beginning of the [...]

I was pained yesterday by a spot in my ribs I broke nearly 11 years ago. This started me thinking on a couple of things. Number one is that there is no scientific proof of old fractures being able to “sense” rain, snow, etc. I read this in Reader’s Digest, so you [...]

The “sage” returns
A while ago I wrote about meeting a car with the license plate “sage” and being kind to them (was that on here, or just on rmfo.net?…)
Today when emailing the notes from our daily “huddle” (a five minute get-together all available office members attend before the day begins) I made a small, one [...]

Just give it up and give me your weight, ladies! I wouldn’t ask for it if the hospital didn’t want to know. They guys have no problem doing it…
Certain tests at certain facilities make me ask the patients for their weight when scheduling an appointment. Right now, reading this is making [...]

Sometimes, when I think about it, it amazes me that I am not more faithful to God. I can’t think of any major problems in my life. I can’t think of anything I’m wanting; I have a home, a vehicle, a good job and (save the best for last) the best wife. [...]

Here’s the second of the two poems written that night at Sam’s Club (see my 6/11 post)
Knave
Comest, thou knave, to this unbidden place?
Fear wafts from your soul; face hung in disgrace.
Fleest thou something your heart can’t embrace?
Lack you, too, courage oft exempt in this race?
Travel thou here some lost shame to requite?
Masking ill presence by [...]

I wrote two poems one night when working at the Sam’s Club membership desk. That would put this in the 1995-1997 time frame for origin.
Unfortunately, I can’t remember what made me think to write either one. For this one, I imagine I could probably hear some drums (the radios were right [...]

I think if you’re married, then you’re eligible to be called “ma’am”, even if you’re not old.
(PS, there are two posts for today)

I used to think it was a cop-out when the little kids in Sunday School lined up to testify and the first student would say “I’m thankful for a Christian pastor” (and the second little kid gets the look on their face like “darn, he took mine”). I would think “How lame! Of [...]

I was remined recently, by a friend seeking advice, of how much I used to like working out. It was almost an obsession, not like the kind you have where it is all you can think about, but the kind where you enter the gym with the intention of kicking butt. You [...]

I might not be around too much, posting here or at rmfo.net/forum, for the next two weeks. My co-worker goes on vacation starting today. This is definitely a two-person job if I’m to get any goof-off time.
:sigh:
I’ll have to work like a good employee for a while. I suppose I owe it [...]

On the way to work I saw this bumper sticker:
“Remember who you wanted to be”
This hit me pretty profoundly. I’m not sure I can explain exactly why, thought it might be obvious.
Are youthe person you wanted to be when you grew up? I don’t mean job-wise, or what kind of car [...]