The Monkey Exhibit

Do you actually chew your macaroni and cheese? I’m asking about the stuff that you buy in a box. The stuff that will slide right down your throat if you just put it in your mouth and swallow. I think it’s appropriate to chew your food; it aids in digestion. Some [...]

Representative
1: one that represents another or others: as a: one that represents a constituency as a member of a legislative body,… b: one that represents another as agent, deputy, substitute, or delegate usually being invested with the authority of the principal
When it comes to government these days, it seems we research candidates trying to find [...]

Teeth vs Lips

I don’t know what the shop did to my car that second day, but now I can time travel.
Eat my dust, rusty Delorean!

My podracer, Optima Prime, has come to be feared far and wide in the local area.
Today I left it at a reputable business, which Cousin Dave suggested, for routine spark plug, fuel filter, and oil changes. When I tried to pick it up and drive it off the lot, the check engine light was [...]

Since my tennis elbow seems to be a popular subject around here, I thought I’d list some signs/symptoms and the things I was told to do to help cure it. Maybe others could self-diagnose and try to treat themselves before having to see a medical professional.
Signs/Symptoms
Elbow pain: Hold your arm in front of you, [...]

Why would someone who just joined a message board with thousands of members PM me with a “Hi I’m new. How’s it going?” message, followed by a quote about Buddhism, when I’m one of the least contributing members of the forum? I mean, this guy hasn’t even posted yet; he only seems to have [...]

I have an arm band and a wrist splint for my tennis elbow. This could severely limit my typing for a while.

You know how there can be too many chiefs and not enough Indians? Too many people are trying to be the one(s) in charge, but nobody wants to do the work. I’m under the impression that good leaders also make good followers.
Good leaders know the importance of the leadership role. They know [...]

Is anyone else sick of foot-long receipts when buying one item?
We should start a grass-roots movement…or something.

What human being was twisted enough to merge figs and whole grain into one fruit newton?

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Seriously, with enough fiber to effectively scrub your colon clean, these things should come with a warning label. They are like a non-toxic version of Liquid Plumr. It’s as cleansing as a lactose intolerant fool eating a large [...]

I actually started raking the lawn beside the road Monday night. I didn’t plan on doing it for long, which is probably why I accomplished a lot more than I expected. Is there some kind of a physical law that the energy necessary to do the work is inversely proportional to the amount [...]

It’s a dreary day, if you let it be. Why allow the weather to control your mood?
When it’s hot out, you can use the air conditioner. When it’s cold out, you can turn up the heat. When it’s too bright out, you can pull down the shades. When it’s [...]

I prefer not to think of it as belly button lint but instead think of it as emergency rations.

It seems I picked up some kind of superbug at the gym last night.
I was graciously brought to Planet Fitness as a guest of a co-worker. I went straight for the free weights, ignoring the fact that I haven’t lifted weights in many years now. I pounded through some squats, leg extensions, bench [...]

We’ve let the house go too long. It was innocent, deciding to rest a day here and there instead of cleaning, but it has gotten out of control.
The crumbs on the kitchen floor are painful little caltrops to any not in steel boots. The mold on the floor challenges you before [...]

Up until rather recently, I’ve been indifferent to the practice of shaking hands. Now I just plain don’t like it.
Last summer I did some rather innocent yard work out back but ended up with tendinitis in my elbow. Tennis elbow, it’s known as more generally. It really, really hurts to shake hands [...]

At 2 AM this morning I woke up to use the bathroom. No big deal, go, come back to bed, go back to sleep. Wrong.
Shortly after returning to bed, I was again awakened by the loud sounds of jets flying over the house. This went on for quite a while, considering it [...]

In sequel to the last Slow Down post, I have had another such experience.
On the way home from work, there is a stretch of road where is it rather easy to find yourself driving quite fast. Since this is the case, I decided, maybe a couple weeks ago, to actually look and see what [...]

Last night I gave blood. I may have saved a life! There are many emotional pictures on the wall alluding to the fact that my blood donation could save someone, a little child, a desperate mother, a gruff man in his middle forties who beats his wife, all were thanking me for the [...]