The Monkey Exhibit

Teeth vs Lips

You know how there can be too many chiefs and not enough Indians? Too many people are trying to be the one(s) in charge, but nobody wants to do the work. I’m under the impression that good leaders also make good followers.
Good leaders know the importance of the leadership role. They know [...]

I actually started raking the lawn beside the road Monday night. I didn’t plan on doing it for long, which is probably why I accomplished a lot more than I expected. Is there some kind of a physical law that the energy necessary to do the work is inversely proportional to the amount [...]

We’ve let the house go too long. It was innocent, deciding to rest a day here and there instead of cleaning, but it has gotten out of control.
The crumbs on the kitchen floor are painful little caltrops to any not in steel boots. The mold on the floor challenges you before [...]

When I grow up, I want to be a SCUBA clown. I would go in the water and distract the sharks until divers were out of danger. I could hide in a barrel flavored with bitter apple. I hear bitter apple keeps animals from chewing on things.
The barrel should have a reinforced, or [...]

I intentionally didn’t tell my dental hygienist about us. I was waiting for the moment when I opened my mouth and she looked in, letting out an involuntary squeal of joy at the sight of my shining teeth. She was to smile blindingly and jump up off her stool to dance in rapturous [...]

I was seriously annoyed to arrive home Saturday night and find that you neglected to include my large mashed potato with gravy. Seriously. I had been anticipating the mashed potato with gravy to go with my fried chicken for at least 5 hours before I sat down at the dining room table to [...]

Not too long ago, I expressed an interest in urgent care patients washing up before they come to the clinic. To me, good health and healing begin with cleanliness. The people who come in with upper respiratory infections, yet reek of cigarrettes, they don’t really have anything to complain about.
Hmmm, didn’t [...]

As fast as warm molasses passing through the bowels of a gluten-intolerant body.

I was writing this up as a reply to the comment on my last post, but it got a little long and I thought I should share it on the main page instead of hidden in a comment section.
Firstly, here’s the comment from my best friend, whom I deeply respect:
Don’t forget the Thermosol, [...]

The kids, the young adults, these days make me feel old:
I don’t text message and I don’t approve of the lack of proper grammar used whilst text messaging.
I still haven’t really set up my cell phone that I’ve had since May. I haven’t recorded a greeting. I haven’t taken a single picture. [...]

Someday I hope to be cool enough to drive around in my beat-up pickup truck without a shirt on.
But why stop there? Maybe I should grow a mullet, attach some fancy truck accessories that cost more than the vehicle itself, and drag race little old ladies at stop lights (whether they know we’re racing [...]

…later…later…I’ll do that later…
What does “later” mean to you?
To me it seems to mean “at a time when I’ll have no other choice.”

Daniel told me a while back that Canadians don’t really care if they are taken over or not.
That takes all the fun out of the last 30 years of plotting.

How hard would it really be to have automatic-lift/lower toilet seats in the men’s room. You know places like local grocery chains or gas stations aren’t going to be the first ones to run a trial on this, but what about semi-private businesses? I’m thinking the Healthcare Mall that I work at as [...]

Do you think it is someone’s job to take the bottle caps off all the returnables we turn in, or is it probaby done by a machine?
(By the way, what is the proper term for plastic soda bottles? Whenever I hear “bottle,” I think glass.)

This website is helpful for at least one thing. Last night I decided to look and see what was going on in my life last year at this time. Last year, the 16th was on a Friday. I had two Christmas parties to go to, but had just had my wisdom teeth [...]

How are ya? Say, how do you like my new 19″ LCD monitor? Pretty big, huh? I got it for my birthday. Yes, that was 4 days ago, but I just got it tonight, OK? No, it’s not an early Thanksgiving present. Who ever heard of Thanksgiving presents? [...]

Why must you do this to me, Sunday nap? Why must we continue this love-hate relationship?
Oh, how I love you! To snuggle into your warm embrace between church services is like a little slice of heaven.
Oh, how I hate the way you keep me up late Sunday night into Monday morning! [...]

I want to converse with you one-on-one. (Is “converse” the correct term for today’s online chatting?) The group setting is fractious at best…ideas are lost as quickly as they come. I’ll be off on a tangent before I realize you’re there. My next quip will be for a laugh, in general, [...]