Bryan the Baboon. M.P. (Monkey Press)
The moon is full. The “lunatics” amass. Unfortunately, so do Werewolves.

In Maine on Friday, however, it was fit neither for man, nor for were-beast to be roaming the streets without being warmly bundled up. Snow fell in a blinding storm, followed by sleet and freezing rain.

Eastern Maine Medical Center on Friday night reported an increase in the number of werewolf-related frostbite cases and not a few number of werewolves with hypothermia. Some werewolves in the intensive care unit are on ventilators battling sudden, acute onsets of pneumonia. Nurses could not be reached for comment, but some nursing aides are reporting a shortage of razors to shave the were-chests for EKGs.

Though the werewolf community in general is suffering, were-polar bears are seemingly unaffected.

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