Gay Marriage: One Monkey’s Perspective

In the beginning, God ordained marriage. It was a sacred union from which a man left his parents and became one flesh with his wife. This “leaving his father and mother” thing may have been easier for Adam, having no earthly mother or father, than for the rest of us. Now, this is a pretty heavy topic for a monkey like me, but follow along. I may never be able to think this deeply again.

So, as I see it, this was a church thing. A God thing, more specifically. Marriage was begun by God and should be run as such. In other words, it is an institution of God, created by God and should be run as He wants it run. It should not be trampled about and changed as oft as men’s hearts change. We should have one definition of “marriage” and it should be defined as God meant for it to be. Therefore, if you want to be “married”, you do it God’s way, or you find an alternative to marriage and make your own human laws for how that institution is governed.

It seems that throughout the history of man, he has not been content with what he presently has. He is always wants something more than he already has. Sometimes this can be good and creative, but sometimes this is bad. Like when it is applied to marriage.

As I mentioned, marriage started out as the union of one man and one woman. There really wasn’t a choice in that matter. However, I would so bold as to say that if God wanted Adam to marry an entire harem, He would have created one, though Adam would have been left without any ribs by the time he awoke.

Time went on and, as promised, man wasn’t satisfied with marriage the way it was. “One wife is certainly not enough,” he thought, “other rich people have hundreds of sheep and cattle and goats…I need hundreds of wives!” And there ended the one man/one women marriage.

Soon, having multiple wives is not enough. Man could marry as many women as he wanted. That weren’t related to him. He did not think this was good. He was pretty attracted to his sister. She was the fairest damsel in the kingdom; surely he could not allow her to marry any of the surrounding barbarians. She must be his! Another wall was broken down; another perversion of God’s institution. But man did not stop there.

Man decides he is limiting himself. He is only allowing himself to choose a spouse from approximately half of the human population! He can now have hundreds of wives. They can come from all corners of the globe. They can be perfect strangers, or his twin sister. But what about other men?

In the days of Sodom and Gomorrah homosexual perversion ran rampant. The human race did not limit their partners to people of the opposite sex. Men with men, women with women, all slapping God in the face (no more so than other sins, sure, but I’m not talking about any other sins right now). When God became sick of it though, he didn’t ask the mayors of those cities what they thought of the situation. He didn’t wait for the local congress to take a vote and see if they thought it was all right or not. Without permission from anyone, God destroyed the two cities. He’s like that. It’s the coolest. Today, people don’t look to that as a warning. They don’t care about the laws, God’s or man’s. They want to do it and, by golly, no one is going to stop them.

All that being said, here’s this monkey’s problem with gay marriage: pretty soon man will need a new frontier to explore. They’ve exhausted the human potential and will have to get creative to find another to marry. This is when monkeys start to worry.

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