QWERT TEARS UP DOWNTOWN, FEW CASUALTIES

Ramon, M.P. (Monkey Press):
Last weekend the notorious Qwert Yuppy tore through downtown in a Humvee, scattering pedestrians, slamming through the Key Bank front entrance and into the walk-in safe. He then proceeded to take all the money out of the safe and made a grand exit through the roof using his prehensile tail to swing like Spiderman(R)

Qwert is quoted when caught afterwards as saying “There was a bee in my truck, man, you would have freaked out, too! Then when I crashed into the safe and all the money poured out I took it. You wouldn’t want to have all that money fall into the hands of some prodigal bee!”

Investigators are checking out the “bee” story, but the pollen they found in the vehicle seems to have floated in through an open window.

“The bees are ruthless, man! That pollen was planted!” Qwert was heard saying as he was escorted to the police station. We’ll have more as the story develops.

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