Monthly Archives: October 2004

Trick or Treat!?

Folks, I’m sorry to say this, but I won’t be going out for Halloween this year. I fear I must now apologize to all the elderly people I have frightened. At first it seemed like a harmless prank, donning a … Continue reading

Posted in Monkey News | 7 Comments

Zombies: Brains

Halloween is approaching and, while I should be shunning anything to do with the pagan holiday*, my mind instead turns to ruminate upon zombies. Zombies are dim-witted and sluggish, yet tenacious in their singular endeavor: to devour your brain. Why? … Continue reading

Posted in Ramblings | 15 Comments

Second Exam–Graded

This morning I was handed my second exam back. The grade on the upper right was an 86. I said I was hopeful for a B, but this was great. The teacher said that the grades ranged from high 80s … Continue reading

Posted in What's Up? | 9 Comments

Hobbit on the Rocks

The original lyrics: Toad the Wet Sprocket‘s “Hobbit on the Rocks“. Admittedly, that was the silliest song that Toad ever recorded. Since I like my song to have meaning, I decided to take their song and make my own lyrics. … Continue reading

Posted in Parodies, Religion | 4 Comments

UMaine Ladies Embrace Change…

…and each other. Ditto for the men. This week at UMaine is Coming Out Week. I wish I could file this under Monkey News and thereby let it be known that this is just a joke, however it is not. … Continue reading

Posted in General | 2 Comments

Second Exam

The first exam I had this semester was in Animal Breeding. To anyone who thinks this may sound cool, let me burst your bubble: It is all statistics (meaning numbers and lots of formulas involving Greek letters). I earned an … Continue reading

Posted in What's Up? | 3 Comments

Cheese Food

You feed rabbit food to rabbits, and dog food to dogs. You feed cat food to cats, therefore you would think you would feed cheese food to cheese. Someone dropped the ball on the whole naming process here.

Posted in Nobody Asks Me First | 1 Comment

Chipmunk Mentality

Yes, I said it. Why is it that small, furry creatures wait until a car is coming before they try to cross the road? A squirrel, for instance, will sit by the side of the road happily chewing on an … Continue reading

Posted in Squirrel Exhibit | 4 Comments


My wife recently ended a job in a workplace she really needed to get out of for multiple reasons. It was a sad experience for her; she had invested a lot of work, time and emotion. This poem is for … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | 2 Comments

Until Shotgun Do You Part

This man shot his wife after mistaking her for a monkey!!! It’s funny, but I think I can relate. It’s hard to count just how many times I’ve walked out into my back yard and had to ask myself “Is … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Monkey News | 7 Comments

My Personal RMFO Hall of Fame

(I had some fancy, maybe even touching things to say to introduce this post, but I lost them somehow not once, but TWICE as I typed them up on different days. Now I want to make it short and sweet.) … Continue reading

Posted in Ramblings | 2 Comments

Fall Break

So, Roger, four days without a post…what have you been up to? Good question. My first response would be “nothing”. The University of Maine just had fall break on Monday and Tuesday and I would say I accomplished not a … Continue reading

Posted in What's Up? | 6 Comments


Is this the end of an era? Maker of Twinkies goes bankrupt! Where will the world be if we can’t all enjoy Twinkie goodness any time we desire?

Posted in Monkey News | 3 Comments

“Beside You”

I wrote this last night for my wife. It was inspired by the card I bought her. Today is our Fourth Anniversary. That seems like a long time for a young married couple. This is the first and last draft. … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Finally…The Gym

Possible Category: My Diary Continue reading

Posted in What's Up? | 3 Comments

Break Time

Seems it is time for me to lay off the humor attempts and turn my writing to something more…substantial. The lame humor attempts will return, though, since my goal is to entertain. Practice makes perfect, right? 😉

Posted in General | Leave a comment

Everyone Loves…

Possible Category: Conspiracies: Hackeysack Continue reading

Posted in Humor | 1 Comment

Dear God,

How are you? That was probably a stupid question; you are perfect. Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi. There are so many things I could ask of you, not all of them even selfish. Instead, though, I just wanted … Continue reading

Posted in Religion | 3 Comments

Monkey Pizza

Get Fuzzy is definitely the best new comic strip out there. Bucky, however, has seen fit to make himself the enemy of monkeys everywhere, and therefore the enemy of this site’s mascot, Qwert Yuppy himself. May the best mammal win.

Posted in Other Exhibits | 5 Comments


After slight reconnaissance of the Union’s entrances and egresses, I believe I have found a way to circumnavigate the Hackeysack Conspiracy. As hoped for by all, this should be the last you hear of it. May this period in my … Continue reading

Posted in General | 6 Comments