Blood-sucking Qwert Attacks Hundreds Of Kids

Accusing Qwert

On November 15th, Monkey News reported the scathing accusations on Qwert’s alleged behavior in Patiala, India. At the end of the article we noted that Qwert was set to leave the proceedings in Patiala to his lawyer while continuing his Indian foray into Gaughati. Late breaking news follows our beloved monkey into that part of the country.

Above is a photograph of Qwert as he leaves his lawyer’s office. Angry at the attacks on his character, Qwert is meeting with his lawyer on a daily basis to attempt to cease the rumors once and for all. This may not be easy.

It is well known that Qwert has a constituent of Rhesus followers in the ancient Hindu temple areas of India. He was visiting that area at the time of the attacks and one anonymous young man even witnessed “a scary monkey dressed in an odd green suit. The suit wasn’t ugly, but on a monkey who is bearing his sharp teeth at me, it was very scary.”

While many of the children have told their view of the events, the three tranquilized monkeys which were taken to Gauhati Zoo refused to comment. More on this story as events warrent.

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