Ahhh. I have finally returned. It’s good to see that the internet didn’t self-destruct without me.
I had plans for this website when I first created it. I’ve also had plenty of plans go through my head since then. I have wanted to share more of myself, my inner self, my feelings, what makes me…well, me. It seems that the sites where people open themselves up for introspection, or sharing of their feelings, do rather well (take Kari, for example). Either that is one of the secrets of good weblogging or she just has more “college” friends than I do…
Other popular sites are ones, like Peter’s, which use twisted humor to amuse. I could do that as well, I even have, but not enough people seem to appreciate it. I’ll save more of that for when my audience is larger. 😉
Another wish of mine was to write an explanation with each of my poems. Those last two, the environmental ones, didn’t really need any explaining. I would, however, like to begin my personal dissertations with my fourth poem “Wish” (yes, I know, I’m skipping my third poem, but it’s not one for too much personal insight. Maybe good for a story, but not previously mentioned introspection). I give you now:
I wish man could be
As innocent as summers past
I wish her love for me
Was half as vast
I wish the wind would rise
Sweep away all the gloom
I wish the sun would appear
So the flowers would bloom
It is a short poem, but I don’t do that too often. Also remember that “most things true/are simple and complex” (Caedmon’s Call Beautiful Mystery). I was inspired during my high school Creative Writing class by another short poem that I can’t remember. This poem begins by lamenting innocence lost. I guess I would have to trace that lament way back to the Garden of Eden. More about me personally, though, are lines 3 and 4.
It seems I was born, or it has been nurtured in me, an extraordinary capacity to love. I want to say that never has a female loved me as much as I loved her, but that might not be the truth. Never have I been with anyone who has been able to claim as overwhelming feeling of emotion as I can.
My wife thinks I am obsessed, but I don’t think that is an accurate representation of my feelings. There are different reasons for my overwhelming emotions, I believe, as well as different effects of having said emotions. My first instinct is to dive into those right now, but the logical part of me knows that would take far too much time and space. I’ll save some of those for later posts. For now I’ll conclude that my love, through emotions felt, actions taken, and words spoken seem to be as vast as an ocean. I only wish love could be returned to me in the quantity of a sizable sea, at least. 🙂
This is me beginning to pursue one of my wishes. The only drawback is that I think readers will shy away from longer posts. Another wish I have is that some specific people will keep up with these, my innermost feelings. If you are wondering if I’m talking about you, the answer is: probably. I hope (wish) that you will keep up, but I won’t expect you to. If I don’t expect anything from you, then you won’t let me down. Those who do keep up, comment and come closer to me I will consider real, true, deep friends. I have some extra ability to love which is not currently being used up. The question for you is, do you want to take me up on it? The question for me is, could I let you if you wanted me to?
(Disclaimer: This post in no way is meant to imply marital discord. My wife just can’t handle all my love, so I’m pimping the rest out :wink:)
Song Quote of the Post
“if you’ll let me close
closer than a brother
if you’ll let me love you
we’ll sit here and cry”
Smalltown Poets–If You’ll Let Me Love You
(PS: Someday I’ll take the time to write these all up in a logical order so the writing doesn’t seem to jumbled. That’s another wish I have for my writing. This has been very peicemeal. I apologize.)