“Waiting”

Here is, chronologically, my fifth poem. If poetry is not your thing, please note I have commentary following.

Waiting

By myself through the days and the nights
All alone when I look to the sky
My friends all out late with their dates
Love and life seem to just pass me by
Like puppies they are towed on a leash
Giving up all for one hug or a kiss
Relying on those they don’t love
No, not a thing do I fear I will miss
As for me, I’m reserving it all
Waiting to give it to one who will last
Living and dying in limitless love
Thinking not of my girlfriendless past
And when it comes time to go
I’ll leave with a satisfied nod
Think of how life was so grand
And made possible only through God

–Spring 1992

Looking back, I find it a little funny that teenagers find themselves lonely because they do not have a girlfriend or boyfriend. Here I was writing that I would trust in God, find my companionship in Him until He blessed me with someone, but all the while I’m sure I was inwardly lamenting my lack of a relationship.

In the spring of 1992 I was 16. For most, I would consider that too young to date or to even worry about such things. It is true that some find their mate at such age, but I don’t believe this to be the majority. At this age young minds do think on dating, though, as hormones race unchecked through their adolescent bodies. Such seemed to be that case with me.

I found it pathetic how the girls could seemly have the guys “wrapped around their fingers,” towed on that proverbial leash. A relationship is much better when it is two-sided; if one holds romantic sway over the other, the relationship would seem to be out of balance. I was glad to remain outside of out-of-balance relationships during most of my high school tenure.

I did reserve the most important physical thing, to me, for my marriage, as promised in my early poem. I only regret, no matter how foolish you may think it to be, that I had not reserved everything for my wife, right down to my first kiss. Thank God, though, that I can live up to my line, so far, of “living…in limitless love.” It amazes me, and baffles my wife a bit I think, that every day is like new to me. Over the years, seemingly few to some of you probably but enough years for intensity to fade, my feelings for my wife have remained at constant levels. I savor every kiss, every touch, and every look as if she just blessed me in the highest regard; everything is a special as the first experience.
At this point in my life I can truly say:

“And when it comes time to go
I’ll leave with a satisfied nod
Think of how life was so grand
And made possible only through God”

Amen.

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3 Responses to “Waiting”

  1. Andy Slaughter says:

    Wow. Very poignant, touching. That’s really cool that you still value every single moment
    with your wife like that. I know for alot of people, those feelings tend to fade after
    years of being married/kids/etc…

    I could relate to the dating/waiting thing in high school and early college.

  2. Roger says:

    Hooray! Someone actually commented. If I ever meet you Andy, you deserve a certificate of
    appreciation.

  3. Ah man… what am I to say? It is a beautiful piece to be sure… but… I just didn’t know what to say.

    Alright, I shall do my best.

    I do and don’t share in your feelings in my relationship with my wife. For me, it’s less adoration and more… motivation. When she looks at me (and is not angry 😉 ) I see nothing but genuine love: a love I’m not worthy of, a love so big I wonder if I can possibly return it, and a love that is perhaps the only thing that keeps me going.

    And I totally identify with those last 4 lines.

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