Gluttony Tonight!

I feel like Gluttony Tonight! Today I raked, clipped old plant stems and generally cleaned up the yard for a couple of hours. Gotta love the great outdoors! I had enough dirt on my front lawn (since the snow has melted) to start my own Public Works Way-Station. I may package it and start charging come next winter…

I feel I have earned unrestrained gluttony tonight as a reward for my efforts. When I get home I’ll start with the Wheat Thins. I’ll consume the entire box, cardboard and all, to whet my appetite. Then I’ll move onto the unopened bag of Double Stuf Oreos. This time I will take the product out of the packaging as the plastic effects absorption in my bowels, unlike the cardboard. I’ll pop Oreos into my mouth with glee, not caring if half end up on my ponderous paunch as crumbs or if I have chocolate permanently stained into my face. Oreo-City, here I come!

For a little break, I’ll consume the Nutty Bars sitting in the junk-food cupboard, munching them like Bugs Bunny on a carrot. Finally, I’ll end with a carton of Cookies and Cream icecream. Yes, the whole thing. Whatever melts before I can eat it will be lapped up, much like a thirsty dog at a full water bowl. The great part is that since I’m lactose intolerant EVERYTHING should come rapidly and painfully out the other end, guaranteeing little to no weight gain to show for my unrestrained night of gorging!

Let the revelry begin!

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12 Responses to Gluttony Tonight!

  1. wife says:

    Do you plan on sharing?

  2. Roger says:

    You can have the crumbs that fall on my chest. Or lick my face.

    (Wow! You actually commented!)

  3. I think the first comment is a forgery. I’ve never even seen pictures.

    so… how did it go? you still alive?

  4. Roger says:

    Spencer, “I’ve never seen my congressman,But I can’t deny that he exists.”

  5. Eric says:

    Who is Spencer?

  6. Eric says:

    Ahh… so now we have a name to go with the facelessness… A name for the coward… 😈

  7. Roger says:

    Has been for a while. It’s easy to tell you’re not around RMFO anymore.

  8. wife says:

    What do you mean forgery?!? I bought the junk food!

  9. Roger says:

    AC, if you are half of the coward you say you are, you shouldn’t
    be antagonizing my wife. She’ll eat you alive…

  10. I’m not in Maine, what have I to worry?

  11. Roger says:

    We like to travel.

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