Does Santa Exist?

(This was read in church today, so I came home and searched for it online. I found it at Santa Clause.)

1)
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms, which have yet to be classified. And although these are mostly insects and bacteria, this may not exclude flying reindeer, which were only seen by Santa so far.

2)
There are around 2 billion children (people under 18) in this world. BUT Santa seems not to deliver to Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhists. This reduces his work to approx. 15 % of the total – 378 million children (according to census). On an average of 3.5 children per household, yields 91.8 million houses. We suppose that in every house lives at least one good child.

3)
If Santa Claus is travelling from East to West, he has a 31-hour-Christmas Day, conditioned by the several timezones (which seems to be logical). Therefore you have 822.6 visits per second. Consequently for every Christian household with good children Santa has 1/1000 second time for his work: park, jump out of his sleigh, come down the chimney, fill the socks, distribute the remaining presents under the Christmas Tree, [eat all the food left out for him], climb up the chimney again and fly to the next house. Assume that every of these 91.8 million stops around the world are [equidistant] (which of course, we know, is wrong, but for fundamental calculation we will accept this), so we get 1.3 km distance between households, an overall distance of 120.8 million km, not including the things which everyone of us has to do at least once in 31 hours [(use the toilet)], plus getting a meal, etc. This means, that Santa’s sleigh flies at 1040 km per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For comparision: the fastest manmade vehicle in the world, the Ulysses Space Probe, drives with a ridiculous speed of 43.8 km per second. An ordinary reindeer travels at speeds of upto 24 km per HOUR.

4)
The freight of the sleigh leads to another interesting effect. Assume that every child gets no more than a medium-sized Lego-Set (approx. 1 kg), then the sleigh has a weight of 378,000 tons, not including Santa, to everyone’s knowledge is an overweight man. An ordinary reindeer cannot carry more than 175 kg. Even if we assume, that a “flying reindeer” (according to top 1) can carry the ten-fold weight, not eight or maybe nine reindeer’s are used for the sleigh. 216,000 reindeer’s are used. This raises the weight – not included the sleigh itself – to 410,400 tons. Again to comparision: this is more than the fourfold weight of Queen Elisabeth [the ship].

5)
410,400 tons travelling at a speed of 1040 km/s produces a huge air opposition – thus the reindeer will burn up, like a space craft entering the earth’s atmosphere. The foremost pair of reindeer must absorb then 16.6 TRILLION Joules of energy. Every second. Otherwise: they will go up in flames practically instanteneously, the next pair of reindeer will be exposed to the air opposition, and a deafening bang will be produced. The whole team of reindeer will be vaporised within 5 thousandths of a second [(or within 5 stops)]. In the meantime Santa will be exposed to an accelaration, 17,500 times the speed of the earth’s revolution. A 120 kg heavy Santa Claus (which is ridiculously light after the description) would be nailed to the end of his sleigh – with a power of 20.6 million Newtons. So we are getting to the end:

IF Santa Claus finally managed to deliver the presents, today he must be DEAD!!!

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2 Responses to Does Santa Exist?

  1. Scoob says:

    Another possible factor to consider is that many people (especially in the Americas) live in apartment buildings or “projects” this would lessen the number of stops Santa would have to make, though lenghten his time at each one.

  2. Roger says:

    I think another way to shave some time off is to ditch the assumption that every house has at least one “nice” kid. 🙂

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