In The Realm of Silly

“Ethel, there is something I need to tell you if our relationship is to continue.”

“John? What is it?”

“Darling, every month in the light of the full moon I go through the most hideous transformation.. For that night only I am not myself and I am controlled only by base instincts.”

“Oh, John! Please, no!” *starts to cry*

“Yes I’m afraid so. Each month I transform into a…a…a gardinea.”

*sobbing* “A gardinea?” *crying slows*

“I’m afraid so, Ethel. There may not be any hope for us…together.”

“Well, a gardinea…now that’s not so bad…”

“No, dearest, you don’t understand! I am the most base creature, if I can even be called a creature…are plants creatures? Anyway, you don’t seem to see the problem. For that night I self-fertilize like crazy-”

“I really don’t see a problem with this.”

“But…the bees! They’re all over me!”

“Stop being silly, John.”

“Why, I must have hundreds upon hundreds of offspring…blooming in full force…clustered in this neighborhood alone!”

“John, shut up.”

——————————————————————-

A roleplayer and fantasy reader friend of mine asked me the other day, “On a lighter side. Wouldn’t it be funny to have a were-tree?” I thought this idea to be somewhat silly, nothing to really waste time thinking about. However, the next morning while shaving I found myself thinking along that exact line. Except, instead of a person shape-changing into a tree, I thought it would be completely silly (and maybe elicit a few laughs) if the person shape-changed into a flower. I mean, how dangerous or scary are flowers (at least to people without allergies)?

I see the above interaction like a Monty Python skit. This couple walks into a fancy restaurant, the kind where a woman has to wear a dress and a man has to wear a tie and suit coat. The man is a perfect gentleman, pulling out the chair for the lady and all that, but something else is obviously on his mind. They make small talk about the weather or the stock market or something while ordering and waiting for the food to arrive. The man gets more agitated as time goes on, but smiles at her all the same. Finally, when the meal arrives, he sets down his fork and gets her attention. They then have this above conversation. At the end of it, maybe the Major comes on saying “Stop that! Stop it! It’s too silly!”

I can at least dream, can’t I?

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