Scene 16: Hurry, Sir Trey. Hurry!

(Adapted from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Names and actions courtesy of event that occur at the Rumor Forum.)

[inside the SGB]

TENTIE ALISA and SWOONEY GIRLS:
[shoes, cothes, boyfriends, blah, blah, blah]

[The Rumor Forum @ [rocksmyfaceoff.net].

NEW MEMBER:
‘Morning!

BARTENDER KATIE:
‘Morning.

BARTENDER KATEY:
Oooh, new topics!

BARTENDER KATIE:
[Starts reply]

TREY:
Ha ha! Hiyya! [Deletes Katie’s account]

BARTENDER KATEY:
Hey!

TREY:
Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.[Deletes Katey’s account]

TENTIE ALISA and SWOONEY GIRLS:
[shoes, cothes, boyfriend, blah, blah, blah]

TREY:
Ha ha! Huy! [Deletes SGB completely]

FEMALE POSTERS:
Uuh! Aaah!

TREY:
Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!… [Gets to Geof’s computer and wreaks havoc.]

[Searches and finds JDR in the webboard, guarded by Joshewah and *Daniel]

JOSHEWAH:
Now, you’re not allowed to enter the webboard– aaugh! [Trey deletes the account]

TREY:
O prolific poster, behold your humble servant, Sir Trey of the Rumor Forum. I have come to take y– Oh, I’m terribly sorry.

JDR:
You got my PM!

TREY:
Uh, well, I– I got a– a PM.

JDR:
You’ve come to rescue me!

TREY:
Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn’t—

JDR:
I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there…

TREY:
Well, I—

JDR:
…there must be… someone…

LORD JOSH:
[Just in from RMFO] Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?

JDR:
I’m your protégé!

LORD JOSH:
No, not you.

TREY:
Uh, I am Sir Trey, sir.

JDR:
He’s come to rescue me, LORD JOSH.

TREY:
Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.

LORD JOSH:
Did you delete all those bartenders?

TREY:
Uh… Oh, yes. Sorry.

LORD JOSH:
They’re paying members of that forum!

TREY:
Well, I’m awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.

JDR:
Don’t be afraid of him, Sir Trey. We can start all over on the webboard.

LORD JOSH:
You deleted the SGB!

TREY:
Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your protégé was a newbie and was hiding-

LORD JOSH:
I can understand that.

JDR:
Hurry, Sir Trey! Hurry!

LORD JOSH:
Shut up! You only horked the server for the entire weekend, that’s all!

TREY:
Well, I really didn’t mean to…

LORD JOSH:
Didn’t mean to?! You uploaded an old Linux kernel into Geof’s computer!

TREY:
Oh, dear. Is he all right?

LORD JOSH:
You even kicked your tentie in the chest! To fix RMFO will take forever!

TREY:
Well, I can explain. I was on the internet, um, surfing from the Rumor Forum, when I got this PM, you see—

LORD JOSH:
The Rumor Forum? Are you from, uh, Rumor Forum?

JDR:
Hurry, Sir Trey!

TREY:
Uh, I am a Charter Member, sir.

LORD JOSH:
Very nice site, The Rumor Forum. Uh, very good gossip area.

TREY:
Is it?

JDR:
Hurry! I’m ready!

LORD JOSH:
Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?

TREY:
Well, that– that’s, uh, awfully nice of you,…

JDR:
I am ready!

TREY:
…um, I mean to be so understanding.
[JOSH deletes JDR’s account]
Um,…

JDR:
[“The topic or board you are looking for appears to be either missing or off limits to you.”]

TREY:
…I’m afraid when I’m in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.

LORD JOSH:
Oh, don’t worry about that.

JDR:
[Error 404]

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