Shampoo Bottle of Holding

or Everful Bottle of Shampoo

Shampoo Bottle of Holding

I have been using this bottle of shampoo since March 2005. Seriously. For the last 365 days (OK, subtract a few for vacations) 351 days I have discharged the amount of shampoo needed to thoroughly lather my hair from this exact bottle. There have been times when I’ve taken too much, but I’ve never taken too little.

How can this happen? I do have hair; I promise. I do bathe daily.

My suggestion is that this is obviously a magical bottle. That leaves one of two options (that I can think of right now):

1) This bottle is really a minute interdimensional space whose contents are stored in another reality appearing only so much as needed to make the bottle appear occupied to any degree.

2) The magic bottle imperceptibly replenishes its contents overnight, and I am using it at a rate only marginally greater than the rate at which is replenishes.

3) (There’s always a third option) Gnomes infiltrate the house in the darkest of night, creeping into the bathroom to refill my shampoo bottle. They also leave the toilet seat up.

Whatever the case may be, I’m going to keep my magic bottle in a very safe place. I’ll never let any harm come to it, and I wouldn’t dream of letting anyone touch it. When I’ve studied the bottle a little more and am more certain of it’s inner workings, then I’ll immediately post my shampoo on eBay and exploit someone of their hard earned wages.

Until then,

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14 Responses to Shampoo Bottle of Holding

  1. I think the gnomes did it…

    Is it magical shampoo? Does it make your hair grow or turn colors? Or is it just a magical shampoo bottle?

  2. Roger says:

    Does it look like it makes my hair grow?


  3. julie says:

    seriously roger… strawberry?!?!! :p

  4. Roger says:

    Fresh Mountain Strawberry! It’s much better. It has the rugged, untamed scent of a mountain man. One who likes the smell of strawberry.

  5. julie says:

    Ahaha…. um… you believe whatever you need to about that…. i mean an ‘untamed mountain man’ who enjoys the smell of strawberry doesn’t sound like he needs much taming. 😀

  6. Keith says:

    It’s amazing how far 89 cents can go nowadays, eh? Somehow I inherited a nearly full *large size* bottle of the stuff from a roommate, and it’s lasted me for ages.

    …and do you always keep tabs on the exact purchase dates of your hygene products?

  7. Andy Slaughter says:

    HA HA!!

    Are you serious? Wow, that is one long-lasting shampoo. I wonder how Suave stays in business when it’s products are A:so cheap and B:so long-lasting?

  8. Roger says:

    Julie: A mountain man doesn’t need any taming ever; it’s just that others sometimes want to tame them.

    Keith: 1) It’s a bigger bottle; I couldn’t find a smaller one at the time I was shopping. 2) I only remember the purchase date because a couple months after I bought it I remember thinking “Wow! I haven’t used much of this bottle at all in the last couple months. I’m going to keep track how long it lasts me.” That’s in quotation marks, but it could just be a paraphrase.

    Andy: Suave stays in business by producing such wonderful products as strawberry shampoo. It’s the best. Everyone should use it. If you don’t then you are a fascist nazi-lover. Also, it’s probably packaged in third world sweat shops personally overseen by Martha Stewart.

  9. julie says:

    good point… my apologies. 😀

  10. Maybe the mountain strawberries are known for thinning instead of cleansing hair…

    That could explain lots! :yes: 😈

  11. jules says:

    hmm… do all the monkeys in the exhibit use wild strawberry shampoo? Because they look like they are pretty hairy… maybe you should use what they do… 😀

  12. Scoob says:

    Or maybe you have been steadily loosing hair over the last year at such a rate that you have only had to use a slightly smaller amount of shampoo (mountain strawberry though it is) over each bathing that you have taken daily.

  13. Roger says:

    Look, Scoob, I might have to take away your new-found commenting privileges. 😆

  14. Scoob says:

    Ah, but then who would lay out the cold hard truth on your bed like tomorrows clothes?

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