Hey, What Did We Learn Today?

Some interesting facts about Canadians are:

  1. A Canadian rolls some dung into a ball. Then it digs its front legs into the ground and uses its back legs to push the ball of dung.
  2. A land of vast distances and rich natural resources, Canada became a self-governing dominion in 1867 while retaining ties to the British crown…which Britain denies to this very day.
  3. Most Canadians eat dung, but some scavenge carcasses or feed in decaying vegetation or fungi.
  4. Canadians face questions about integrity in government following revelations regarding a corruption scandal in the federal government that has helped revive the fortunes of separatists in predominantly francophone Quebec.
  5. The Canadian has no natural enemies.  Just resolute overlords.  And America.
  6. One Canadian contains 18% of your daily requirement for carbohydrates.
  7. Natural resources include:  iron ore, nickel, zinc, mounties, copper, gold, lead, molybdenum, potash, diamonds, silver, fish, timber, wildlife, coal, petroleum, natural gas, hydropower, and hockey players.
  8. Canadians don’t much care if they’re a free country or not.  (This came verbatim from a Canadian.)

I’m sure between your suggestions and these facts, my foray into the hostile land will be a complete success.  Is there anything I left out?

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5 Responses to Hey, What Did We Learn Today?

  1. Scoob says:

    They like bright shiny money, I believe that this comes from their early settler roots. The early settlers of Canada searched for gold (bright and shiny) and trapped for furs (soft and shiny, the commone denominator is shiny of course). I also believe that they secretly laugh at our dull green money. They don’t care that our money is at a higher value than theirs because theirs is “bright and shiny”!!!

  2. Eric says:

    To pass for a native, just add the word “Eh” to your sentences. And don’t cringe at paying $4 a gallon for gas (or $7 for milk).

  3. Roger says:

    Eric, you’re talking in “Loonies” or “Twoonies” or whatever crazy money they use, right, not American dollars?

  4. Eric says:

    The “moonies” you mean? Yes… those things. That amounts to about… $0.12 for gas and $0.19 for milk… 😈

  5. Roger says:

    This just in:

    9. Latest research shows that, while they look like reptiles, Canadians are, in fact, mammals. They also eat their young.

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