Squirrel Adventures

Hey, look at that squirrel!

There’s a squirrel on the lawn, and he’s just sitting there. He’s not moving or anything. Maybe he’s dead. Squirrels don’t just sit on the lawn and not move. Oh, he moved his head. He’s alive. What’s he doing there, just sitting there? He’s not even eating. Something’s wrong. Maybe he’s gorged himself on nuts and doesn’t even want to move. Do squirrels do that? I know people do! I’m going to open the back door.

Hey squirrel! Get off my lawn!

Look, he’s running away. He heard me. He’s off the lawn. I can’t believe he understood me! I bet he used to be human. He must have been transformed into a squirrel by a spell or something. He’s going to hate me for making him move after that big meal.

Look at him. He’s smart. I told him to get off the lawn and he ran over to the tree. Look. He’s on the lowest part of the tree just sitting there. He’s only about an inch off the lawn. Stupid squirrel. He’s taunting me. Since when did squirrels start taking you literally? Maybe his mom told him not to climb trees less than a half hour after eating.

I’m going outside.

Hey squirrel. Hey. Why are you scrambling to the other side of the tree? Don’t make me come over there. That’s it. I can see you now. Hey! You can still climb trees! How’s that belly feeling, you glutton? Don’t hid behind a tree limb. I can still see you! I’m coming under. Don’t poop on me!

What? What’s that, dear? Yes, I’ll help you load the car so we can go to your mother’s…


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1 Response to Squirrel Adventures

  1. Scoob says:

    You’re lucky squirrels don’t fling poo like monkeys, just nuts! Of course they hurl the nuts in a rage but then realize that they have launched their most precious commodity and then jump at you to retrieve their lost treasures.

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