Intro: â€œLa, la, la-la, la, la, bouncing here and there andâ€¦I canâ€™t remember where, la, la-la, laâ€¦la.â€
â€œYouâ€™ve waited a long time, but itâ€™s finally here! Qwert Yuppy Industries has managed to combine the bouncy goodness of Gummy Bears with the joy of chomping down Smurfs! We call it Smurfy Beary Soup! Captured in the wild and beaten into a paste, the Smurf/Gummy Bear mixture is diluted with distilled water from the river Styx*!
â€œThe fantastical ingredients in Smurfy Beary Soup are good for what ails ya, and good for what doesnâ€™t! Smurfy Beary Soup is great for cleaning grease off the floor, and for those unsightly wrinkles**! But you already knew that, didnâ€™t you? Donâ€™t remember tasting it before? Head down to your local grocer and buy it again for the first time!
Serving Size: 8 fluid oz
Servings Per Container: 6***
Calories Per Serving: A Smurfload
Saturated Fat: Itâ€™s all in water, of course itâ€™s saturated!
Sodium: I forget
Carbohydrates: What does that word even mean? Have you really looked at it before? I mean really looked at it?
*Includes neither Smurfs nor Gummy Bears nor water from the Styx. If you believe any of these things truly exists, please contact your doctor.
**These claims have not been proven in clinical trials.
*** Contents packed by weight. Contents may settle during beating, squishing, diluting or out of shear boredom.