Cheeraholics Anonymous

Are you always happy in the mornings, even on Mondays? Do you get scowled at by coworkers when you walk in whistling a tune and beaming from ear to ear – without coffee or drugs? Are you shunned by family because your life isn’t in ruins like theirs?

This is the program for you!

In twelve terribly complicated, confusing, and downright frustrating steps we’ll teach you how to:

• Scowl like a pro! It uses the same muscles you’re already used to: kissing muscles!
• Make your troubles sound ten times worse than they really are! Learn how to embellish and to completely jumble your priorities!
• Properly kick lapdogs and easily make children cry! A little anatomy and psychology lesson can do wonders for improving your grumpiness quotient.

Sign up today and you’ll also receive:

• Ten little flaws you can easily find in every coworker and how to make them seem career threatening.
• How to rig the water cooler to soak the next user.
• Calculate exactly how little sleep you need to start your day extra grumpy.

Act now as spaces in our group are sure to go fast. Call 1-888-Happy2Sad for more information.

Don’t be the guy everyone outwardly hates yet secretly admires. Call now.

This entry was posted in Advertisements. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Cheeraholics Anonymous

  1. Cousin Dave says:

    I always have a case of the “Mondays”. That is why I no longer work them.

  2. Roger says:

    Lucky duck!

    I mean… showoff. *grumble*

  3. Scoob says:

    In jail there is not such thing as a kindly “Good morning” we only just say “Morning” to anyone.

  4. Roger says:

    It’s nice of you to let them know what time of day it is, since they’re in lightless holes under the ground.

  5. Scoob says:

    Don’t do them the honor of comparing them to the rugged beauty of a dwarven hold, seething pits of human waste is more appropriate.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *