I was seriously annoyed to arrive home Saturday night and find that you neglected to include my large mashed potato with gravy. Seriously. I had been anticipating the mashed potato with gravy to go with my fried chicken for at least 5 hours before I sat down at the dining room table to have my dreams dashed in a most cruel manner. Anger and contempt crept into my breast, toward a company who could do such thing to a man. This sort of dastardly upcharging while downsizing is exactly what’s wrong with America.
I really, really didn’t want to leave the house again, and you don’t deliver, so I ate a sad meal before bed. I find that I am quite unsatisfied with this predicament. Now, since you would surely succor me in no way, I am forced to do my worst: passive-aggressiveness that is an internet blog post.
Lesson to self: Always check the bag for your contents in their entirety before leaving the window. May the next generation learn from the atrocities of their elders.