Visine Relationship

Why have I wasted so much time with you, Bausch & Lomb Rewetting Drops? We were young when we met, and I really hadn’t had a relationship before. I guess all that mattered then was that you were willing to be mine. I figured that since I had you, I didn’t need any other. You met my needs, demanding as I was. I had heard the term “other fish in the sea”, sure, but what we had was working. Why fix something that’s not broken, right? Now I have to tell you the horrible truth: I’ve met someone else.

Do you know Visine For Contacts? My wife introduced us at Christmas. Visine for Contacts is everything that I didn’t even know I needed. Visine has things I didn’t even know you were missing. Where you feel thin and watery, Visine is oily and lubricating. You sting my eyes with your Spartan wetting techniques. Visine is Bacchian, smooth, and soothing. Being with Visine is like getting a warm, oily rub from the world’s finest masseuse. Visine’s silky caress reaches the furthest corners of my eyes, causing me to sigh all my tension away.

Where you come in and say “there, you’re wet again, don’t bother me for the rest of the day,” Visine whispers seductively in my ear, promising, “there’s more where that came from.” When did our relationship sour, Bausch & Lomb? At what point did I take you for granted so that you started to spend the day dallying on the computer, hanging out in chat rooms seeking to wet eyes that you had never met? I’m sorry. Sorry for youthful ideals lost. Sorry for the years I kept you from growing out there in the wide world.

I hope you can someday forgive me Bausch & Lomb Rewetting Drops. Adieu.

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3 Responses to Visine Relationship

  1. Scoob says:

    You have some deep deep issues my friend.

  2. *daniel says:

    I truly love this post, just so you know 🙂

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