When I grow up, I want to be a SCUBA clown. I would go in the water and distract the sharks until divers were out of danger. I could hide in a barrel flavored with bitter apple. I hear bitter apple keeps animals from chewing on things.
The barrel should have a reinforced, or drop, shell. When the outer, bitter shell collapses, the shark gets a mouthful of the inner shell, which is lined with spikes.
I donâ€™t see how this could possibly go wrong.