What human being was twisted enough to merge figs and whole grain into one fruit newton?
Seriously, with enough fiber to effectively scrub your colon clean, these things should come with a warning label. They are like a non-toxic version of Liquid Plumr. It’s as cleansing as a lactose intolerant fool eating a large bowl of shredded wheat in whole milk, followed by three large scoops of ice cream.
Who decided to package this bowel-rending experience in innocuous snack bags? Is it the secret colon cleansing society? You take a whole grain, which has a “greater amount of dietary fiber, as much as four times that found in refined grains” and add it to figs, which “are a natural laxative“. How does this not spell a recipe for disaster?
Do yourself a favor. Unless you want to run to the bathroom ten times in one day, lay off the whole grain Fig Newtons.