Candle Party

On Monday, the wife will have a wonderful gathering of social misfits and other people you wouldn’t normally invite into your house (except you, of course). This is called a candle party.

How do you prepare for a candle party, astute readers might ask. First the wife sends you outside. This performs two functions. One, it gets you out of the wife’s hair while she tidies up the house. Two, it gets you to perform the arduous yard work you have been putting off for…what…7 months now?

This is how I found myself raking into the dark hours of the night last night. Yes. Raking. What about the tennis elbow, you ask? A candle party is not a respecter of persons. No mere physical infirmity is enough to stop the rolling tide of the candle party. Remember this, men, the next time your physician says it’s OK to be discharged from the hospital following your open-heart surgery.

The clincher, of course, is that our house is already redolent with a mélange of candle scents from every room of the house. It’s almost like Yankee Candle went out of business and shipped us all their back-stock. It’s as if the neighborhood had a candle thief and everyone brought their precious valuables here for safe keeping, since anyone who took one glance at our house would see that it’s not worth breaking into.

But, I digress. And I will get in trouble for hyperbole in this one, you mark my words.

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7 Responses to Candle Party

  1. Bilguun says:

    Interesting post. When I had to do the year, I always wear elbow brace – it prevents tennis elbow, and you don’t feel a slight pain at all.
    Although there are so many good elbow braces out there – as far as quality, comfort, and prices are considered – Serola’s Gel Arc Elbow Brace is the best one for forearm pain. I’d say it was well worth my $20 investment, and I highly recommend this product to others.
    PS: Hope the candles did not make you nuts! : )

  2. Angi says:

    Ok, first I have to say that the term, “THE WIFE” is horrid..2nd, She, (your wife) is helping out someone else so grin and bear it with all the things she will ask your help with 🙂 What are you going to be doing monday nite?? LOL

  3. Scoob says:

    Enjoy the fresh brisk air my friend, the bracing night air filling your asthmatic lungs and you toil under the moonlight. You should have worn a sling the next day to show “THE WIFE” how much your yard work has broken you.

  4. Roger says:

    Bilguun: Thank you. I’d love to know how you came here, if possible.

    Angi: I use “the wife” because I didn’t want to type her name for the whole internet to read. I might have done it before, but I was feeling more cautious this morning. Probably a stupid caution.

    Monday night: I will be out with some friends. I don’t need to be here for anything!

    Scoob: I was thinking about that. I thought I would have blisters, but surprisingly enough I didn’t.

    Yes, it is good to be out under the night sky. I finally found out how the leaves got all over the yard in the first place. Stupid merry raccoons…

  5. The Wife says:

    In my defense, thanks to spring cleanup time, you would still be raking the leaves, candle party or not.

    Anyone want to purchase a candle?

  6. Angi says:

    *Ahem* You could have said “MY WIFE” .

  7. Roger says:

    I’m the husband, she’s the wife. How complex does this have to be, people?

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