Russian squirrel pack ‘kills dog’
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.
Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.
They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.
A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.
The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.
A “big” stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.
“They literally gutted the dog,” local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.
“When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them.”
Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.
While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds’ nests, he said, the idea of them chewing a dog to death was “absurd”.
“If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests,” he added.
Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.
A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been “no pine cones at all” in the local forests this year.
“The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat,” he added.
© BBC MMVIII
While the systematic overthrow of the northern hemisphere by black squirrels continues unabated, the US media focuses solely on Joe the (wannabe) Plumber. Is the media on black squirrel payroll?
What they don’t tell you is that Obama’s health care plan has no provisions whatsoever for a black squirrel attack. As a matter of fact, if you were to seek treatment for such an attack while under an Obama health plan coverage, your insurance company would not take you seriously. This is exactly the kind of blind eye that we’ve come to expect from this candidate.
McCain-approved health care plans would, indeed, pay for the hospital bills associated with a squirrel attack, and also up to four years of related PTSD visits. McCain himself has received extensive martial training to protect himself and his family in the case of an attack. The fact is, John McCain is the only candidate certified to handle a Russian black squirrel attack physically, emotionally, and economically.
Unless you count Chuck Baldwin.