Christmas Morning

In my house, Christmas morning is kept open for our household to celebrate together. Currently that’s just me and my wife, but I’m constantly reminded that this could be subject to change sometime in the next few years. You never know.

Christmas afternoon, my father- and sister-in-law always come over for Christmas dinner (lunch?). I’ve already gone over what I got from him and from her. Below is what my astute wife got me.

From the stocking:
A Screaming Monkey Slingshot from We’ve found how to slingshot him, but not how to make him scream. Perhaps a bit of torture is in order to get the vocal chords warmed up. Also, I need a good name for a monkey that screams and shoots like a slingshot. Any ideas?

A Snickers bar. We’ll keep this little secret to ourselves, shall we? (The Snickers has been successfully placed in the fridge. I like them better chilled.)

A Wal*Mart sized bag of Child’s Playtime candy. As opposed to the monstrous Sam’s Club sized bag. That would probably kill me. I love Dots and flavored Tootsie Rolls.

The book Sneaky Uses for Everyday Things from This is going to be cool.

A box of generic Lactaid. A necessity, unfortunately. Or at least it will be once we get some more ice cream in this house.

A three-pack of strawberry ChapStick. I use this stuff all the time. I like to keep it everywhere. I keep one in my pants pocket (with my fingernail clippers), one on my nightstand, and one in my car console (when I have enough extra). Have you noticed how hard it is to reach into your pants pocket when you’re sitting down driving?

From under the tree:
Laser Guided Scissors from I really could have used these this week while I was wrapping presents!

The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me t-shirt from It’s been a while since I’ve rolled the dice, but this should impress my geek friends when next I see them.

Lined Nike wind pants. These are good for shoveling the yard, but not so good for playing basketball (say). I’ve been looking for the non-lined version for a couple years now, but it’s like they don’t even make them anymore. What’s up with that?

An extra-soft, Geoffrey Beene, (argyle?) sweater from TJ Maxx. I hope she didn’t use the credit card! 😉

And finally, the large present…in cost if not in size. A Card Type Digital Voice Recorder from I have wanted a digital voice recorder for years. I seem to constantly be somewhere without a pen and paper when inspiration strikes. Now I will never be without. This is awesome, and completely unexpected considering the budget we had allotted ourselves. Your wife knows what you want, though, fellas. Trust them.

All the ThinkGeek presents can be attributed to Eric. He’s the one who pointed me toward the website when he showed me the Inigo Montoya t-shirt, which I immediately ordered (of course) and receive the ThinkGeek magazine with my order.

Remember, I’m looking for a name for my screaming slingshot monkey!

From my household to yours, we hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

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3 Responses to Christmas Morning

  1. cousin dave says:

    Paul Baldwin. Silly screaming monkey

  2. Roger says:


  3. Eric says:

    Franklin Romeo Jackson III (and that’s Rome-Ay-Oh)

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