Dear Gym,

I will be back; I promise. Let me tell you what’s going on.

My wife just graduated nursing school. She spent every week night and most weekends studying for years. She didn’t get out much. Her social life was smothered, going out with more of a whimper than a bang. But now she’s done.

She will be training and working some evening and overnight shifts coming up, however she is currently working day shifts. This means I can actually spend time with her after the work day. We can cruise the streets, wander around Wal*Mart for hours never walking the same hour twice, or chase squirrels with bottle rockets. The time is ours to enjoy!

So, I will see you again, and soon. The long after-work hours of braiding each other’s hair and whispering passive aggressive secrets about the imagined lives of unknown neighbors will end soon. Shortly I will return to your harsher embrace. Your free weights will bow me over like a 90 year old osteoporotic. Your leg extensions will cause me to strain and strain until I wet myself just enough to be embarrassing but not enough to inconvenience the next person on the machine. Your treadmills and I will spend long half hours in sweaty, tortuous bliss.

Until then.

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