Category Archives: Nobody Asks Me First

What happened? You used to be delicious and filling. Now you taste stale and bland. Did something happen to your once fresh peanuts? They used to tumble around in my mouth like a salted massage roller, caressing my inner cheek … Continue reading →

I don’t understand fleece vests. I don’t understand the concept of only covering the core of your body when you’re cold. When I get cold, it starts from the head, the hands, and the feet. A vest only covers my … Continue reading →

This was inspired by Scoob’s comment. I can’t say I’m really for unions. In the jobs I’ve held, I was hired to do X job for Y dollars per hour and Z benefits. The benefits weren’t even my idea, they … Continue reading →

I nominate Frary to be the change here in Maine. Can I say, now that I’m here, how stupid I think “change” is for this presidential race? The current president cannot be president again next term. Therefore, we’ll have a … Continue reading →

Link problems should all be resolved. Carry on.

Representative 1: one that represents another or others: as a: one that represents a constituency as a member of a legislative body,… b: one that represents another as agent, deputy, substitute, or delegate usually being invested with the authority of … Continue reading →

Why would someone who just joined a message board with thousands of members PM me with a “Hi I’m new. How’s it going?” message, followed by a quote about Buddhism, when I’m one of the least contributing members of the … Continue reading →

Is anyone else sick of foot-long receipts when buying one item? We should start a grass-roots movement…or something.

What human being was twisted enough to merge figs and whole grain into one fruit newton? . . . . . . . . . . . Seriously, with enough fiber to effectively scrub your colon clean, these things should … Continue reading →

It’s a dreary day, if you let it be. Why allow the weather to control your mood? When it’s hot out, you can use the air conditioner. When it’s cold out, you can turn up the heat. When it’s too … Continue reading →

I guess ARGS just isn’t exciting enough for you. Hows this for news: In case you missed it, gas prices went up as much as 20 cents today. When I drove to work, the stations nearby had it at $3.09 … Continue reading →

It’s Monday morning. I’m tired. How about just a couple short, independent thoughts? 1) Sure, you can name your child anything you want. Just don’t be rude enough to be upset when you’re asked to spell it every single time … Continue reading →

I don’t understand people’s propensity for congregating in doorways. I first noticed this bizarre behavior at church. When church lets out, there seem to be two black holes in the building. The first black hole is in the doorway leading … Continue reading →

Are you still trying to keep up with your resolutions for the new year? Even after an entire month? Do you still want to exercise your way to a new, happy life? Good for you! However, you might want to … Continue reading →

Please bathe before coming to the doctor’s office. Continue reading →

On the way to work yesterday morning there was a presidential campaign sign on the side of the interstate. Just one. On the side of the interstate. In January. My first thought was to be mad. Can they do that? … Continue reading →

When you have the right of way, use it. It’s very nice of you to stop and let someone else go first. It’s very gentlemanly and all that. However, there is a reason right-of-way rules are in place. This is … Continue reading →

Here are two terms that speakers should refrain from using: Obviously You know I mean Uh Um Feel free to add some more.

Can we stop pretending there are no rules? Can we stop mistaking freedom for anarchy and everyone doing whatever is right in their own eyes? Thank you.

Why do mature adults, who have lived in a location for longer than a week, put their trash bags outside on the night before trash pickup? Invariably there is trash strewn about their property the next morning from some birds … Continue reading →